The Nigerian Casanova!!!

This is going to be a little long.. so if its not coffee break time yet.. then see ya later.. and if this is your Coffee break time..read on.. oh and i am not resposible if your coffee spills on your desk/clothes/book-you-are-pretending-to-read..as a result of all the laughing you are gonna do for the next few minutes.. and not to mention your neighbours looking up the local asylum's number..listenng to your i-am-trying-to-supress-my-laughter laughs....

So, here's the background.. I have this friend called Sajith, who has been on-site in Nigeria for a pretty long time..so this has actually been fodder for us lesser mortals living in more civilized parts of the world.. It so happenend that Sajith was pretty bored and with the aim of cheering up people with similar sufferings..he sent us all a mail which spewed a lot of spite against women!! So, us caring people(read friends) sent our thoughts on what led Sajith to such measures..
Here is what went on in the mails.. Sajith did get in his two bits every once in a while..So..here goes..

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Lets suffuce it to say that Sajith started off with this female-bashing maill..which if he was maried would have ensured the couch for him till the next time the martians came visiting....
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Sajith
U are sounding so much like a poor harassed husband!! Has
something gone wrong? Hope u haven't been forced into marrying a
Nigerian woman so soon!!! U are talking about big girls , fat girls and
round shapes!! EVERYTHING FINE? OR DO U NEED SOME HELP?
BYE
Ranjani
=========

So Sajith .. how are the "babes" in Nigeria. not a happy experience I
gather from all the fire spewing out of your forward. Well, they are a
little hard to get used to i guess. But do not give up man..stay at it
and who knows you may leave your mark( read offspring) on our
neighbouing continent:)
Even if all else fails.. you always have home to look forward to..what
with the mails like the one below hollering out hope to you...
All,
Comments & thoughts on Sajith's African future invited.Let's make
this a discussion forum..at Sajith's expense of course... And Sajith,
hope you don't mind ..and if you do, then hope you find solace in the
arms of one of your Nigerian friends..
Regards,
Sumanth
========================
GREAT ONE SUMANTH. I ONLY HOPE SAJITH SPARES ME WHEN HE RETURNS;-)))
BUT , I AM IN FOR THE DISCUSSION FORUM.
SORRY S....
WE JUST WANNA MAKE UR TRIP MEMORABLE AND ENSURE THAT U DON'T MISS HOME
AND FRIENDS. ;-))
BYE
RANJANI
===============================
Hello Sajith
Hey Sumanth that was a nice one:)
I am sure Sajith would find solace in the arms of the nigerian friends I dunno how many :)
So sajith how is it goin buddy
Guess we would soon have a discussion forum:)
This is enable us to get updates from u buddy:)
Jayant Mehta
====================================
How come I still don't see Sajith's reply...
His Nigerian " Lady" must be keeping him pretty busy:)
let's hope he is still in one piece...
And Sajith, do let us know your date of arrival..I guess Ranjini,
Jayant and I will have to get as far away from Bangalore as possible,
to avoid being mauled( or worse things) by you and your " Babe from
Africa"
sumanth
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Aha...............so U're looking for my reply huh? Try to throw in some laughs with that mail in ur otherwise boring life and you wash me with comments and hang me out to dry.
Well, well I'll be back someday............so U better decide how many pieces U wanna be in then(I'm talking to U Chummi.....and C and Jay). And whats with the forum.......whats this........something like an ED Sullivan show or somethin' with the topic being me? ARE U JOBLESS? People get back to work and let poor old me find a way to survive in this wilderness.............U ought to be praying for me - NOT, and I mean, NOT let ur comic sense go wild.
AHEM, atleast stop forwarding ur remarks to everybody in the LIST, for Pete's Sake -
I GOT A REPUTATION TO PROTECT!!!!!!
Sajith
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Great going guys. We have finally instigated Sajith to reply!! THREE CHEERS TO US – FOR OUR EFFORTS;-))
As for u sajith - First get back to India and then then dream abt laying your hands on us.
Till then,
Jungle mein mangal karo.;-)) (DIN’T GET IT?) I don’t expect u to either;-))
Bye
Ranjani
==============================
Ranjani I think u got it wrong it isn’t Jungle mein mangal karo but Jungle mein MINGLE karo. Must be doin this already!!!!
--Nikshep
========================================
So Sajith, now that we have got your attention, I think our efforts
are going to double..no triple..:)
All this while I was thinking that this would be just firing shots in
the air.but now that we have a target, we are loading up man...
And by the way, why do you think our lives are boring?? How can it be
boring with your african wildlife experiences to explore and
anatomize...
Well I guess it might be boring compared to your safari life
there,what with all your nigerian "babes" and unexplored
"territory"... So how many lions/tigers/cheetahs have you dealt wih
already..or do they also assume you to be part of the landscape
already...:)
And don't think we are not praying..we too have noble souls..we are
definitely praying..even if it is for al those poor "unexplored"
Nigerian "babes" ....
Sumanth
P.S: I have already taken out an insurance policy against my
name..so that after Sajith returns my family can get some monetary
benefits from this . Anybody else intersted can contact me....
========================================
Hey guys...
Well Im all ready to get into the forum...No forums I ve seen are as interesting as this.
Hey Nigerian Casanova...(atleast he'll be in a few days)...so howz the junglee life?and this forum is not making it any better isnt it..
And guys dont worry abt Sajith coming and bashing up...He is an average Indian Women built ..Only u shud be scared of any of his Nigerian Babes...!!!and u know why!
Sundi Enjoy!
Ranjini
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WHAT!!!!!....................YOU......................Average Women Build??
Why you ^%$^*@!@?~&................
Ohhhhhhhh.....................you just wait till I return..............................
--Sajith
==========================================
Chill Sajith
Enjoy ur stay there. Take ur own time. There’s no hurry to return. We are having enough fun this way itself.
Did u realize that there’s an entire ARMY against you. U are no match for the TROOP buddy!!!
Bye
Ranjani
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this is so much fun.............
AVERAGE WOMAN BUILT....................LOL......................
where did that come from mots.............too good..................
good going guys.........................will join u soon!!
Regards,
Abbas.
=====================================
Hello Buddy
Hey even if u return u aint gonna change u would still remain the avg womens height buddyJ
Yeah that diff. u could find a better match thereJ
So have u explored the jungle and have u mingled:P with the African guys:P
I am sure u would have opened a fan club already ……………….lots following u:P
Have fun J
Jayant Mehta
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So Sundi,
u guess u prefer African GUYS with rOund shapes...yeh????
awe..:0
Priya Goel
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Macha it is AVERAGE INDIAN WOMEN HEIGHT...Dont u think so...we always had a n argument for that.
Also the person who can get sundi angry the most is going to win an KENYAN SAFARI well sponsored by ofcourse sajith..
see for the starters ...I cud make sundi go red in the face with anger!!
Sajith buddy chill...
Ranjini
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Hey Priya, Thanks for the new angle to the issue. I had completely
overlooked the Nigerian "men" angle..what with the whole "babes" stuff
going on...Your dating chances must have doubled overnight man.. so
tell us about your dates...
must be a cosy threesome:)
Imagine sajith and his mates..swinging in the jungle nights..without a
care in the world..not even bothered about those bugs crawling
everywhere..
And like Ranjini said..there is no hurry in coming to india pal...I
guess it is a few months away now anyway..by then we would have packed
up this forum and started a condolence/consoling forum in your name...
Ranjini,,by the way did you know that the average Indian Femae height
is only 5.5 feet.. and guess which of our friends qualify for this....
Sumanth
===================================
Hey , the Kenyan safari looks very promising.but that would put s in
risk,,what with the proximity to Nigeria..Lets look for something more
Medditerranean,,,we might as well make good use of Sajith's money..we
don't want him to waste it after all...He IS our friend...
Hey,,and Sajith's face would not be the only red thing he has right
now..I heard those Nigerians are pretty well built...
Sumanth
=======================================
Hey guys...have things cooled off with Sajith or am I out of the mail
chain.?????
Waiting with bated breath,
Sumanth
===========================
Things can never cool off when the "OBJECT OF INTEREST" is Sajith.
Whatta say S....?
By the way Sajith, whats up there? U seem to be very involved in/with
something/someone? U aren't even replying to our mails???
RAnjini
============================
Also Sajith, Speaking for all of us, fillus in on life in Nigeria.
How is the place..Are the peope friendly...or is it like how it is
seen in those african Safari movies..
We all seem to have such antique ideas of Africa, the same way , I
guess that others view India..cows on the road..Elephants for
transport..etc,etc..
Do fill us in man,

Sumanth
======================
Hey Sajith why u so silent dude??? U Dont like us pulling ur leg? Man u
must be Happy coz atleast by pulling ur leg u might gain a couple of
inches & surpass AVERAGE INDIAN WOMEN HEIGHT....Lol

Nikshep
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So sajith found any companions in the jungle and did u mingle with any:)
I am sure u would have fund a lot many of ur kind there:)
No mails from u at all.......................looks like u building ur club n bzzy with that.....not a problmeo we guys shall wait to hear from our "LOST "Nigerian Buddy!!!
Jayant
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I see.......everybody's jumping into this 'Sajith Bashing' bandwagon, huh,.........Well its not everyday that you people get a chance like this so I have decided to sit back and remain passive...(Ohhh...........how much I hate ye all)........
By the way.thanks for branding me as an 'Object Of Interest' though for the wrong reasons.....Gotta be honest C.me still wondering if you can be of any interest at all :-)
As for U Priya..........I AINT HANGING AROUND WITH GUYS HERE.........Never did all my life!!! AND THATS IT...no more arguments on that. Hey Mots...........U think u got me red in the face huh..........well tell ya what.........bask in ur glory as much as you want for it aint gonna remain that way for long.........
Jay, Chummi..think you've scored over me huh?.........dont get me started with that club shit!!!!.................better be concerned and find some place to hide for I'll BE BACK.
And Abu.what the hell?.................U think this is so much FUN. Well, I think NOT. And Niks........talk about mice gettin brave when the cats aint around.
PS...Isnt there anybody who wanna stand by poor ol' me.........Please , please there should be somebody in that rogue group my so called 'pals' who has some sympathy for me..........
Sajith
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FANTASTIC SAJITH. BUT I FEEL, U CAN DO STILL BETTER!!!! ;-))) ANYBOBY WITH ME???
Ranjini
========================
Is that so, C? Well, thats normal isnt it?...........But I aint trying any harder for I think I'm doing just fine. And why wouldnt people be with you especially when you are in the middle of something as interesting an activity as 'DIG YOUR PALS GRAVE'!!!
Hey, by the way, I thought someone wanted to know how things were here at Lagos.........well.....things here are just fine........wish I could send details across to you all but you know............ye people have kept me so busy reading your mails that I just dont have the time!!!!!!!!...:-D
With the worst Regards...........:-)
Sajith
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Hehe Sajith u would have so many standing besides you juz look arund in the jungle who knows you would come across some BIG,ROUND IN SHAPE NIGERIAN (GUY/GAL) J
Jayant
==================================
Hey Sajith,
good to hear from you. though not one of the mails that I would
preserve for my grand children. Would make nice reading for a rainy
day though...
So, you seem to be back to your old cheerful self. :))
Lets not mail-bash you more than needed.
How is the work?How are the people? Fill us in on that country man..
I guess none of us might get a chance to visit Africa. Since you have
got the chance, do let us know how the place looks and feels.

Sumanth
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Alright now that you all have had your laughs.. its time to turn the spotlight back to me.. After all this presumably, Sajith is not gonna let me get away light..so looks like a few broken bones are in order i guess.. or at least a consultation with a good plastic surgeon.. My only hope is to bribe him with a trip to more civilised places.. so people you can leave a comment and i will tell you where to transfer the funds..Hello..don't leave the page ..click on that comments link..heloo..hellooooo..Bah.. i should have known..Friends!!!