One-Liners

I am absolutely in love with witty one-liners. They are just the bright spots of my day. They are something I use to to keep my spirts high on damp days..speaking of spirits,its saturday night and I really do mis my spirits today..Oh well ,thee's always next week. Hey I am digressing here...Back to the point, here are some one-liners. Imagine if some jobless researchers come up with studies for such stuff and then, I guess they would label it as maybe....monolinotherapy and some of those jerks wou;d then maybe come up with monolinophobia..man that'll be the day.. Here are some anyway.

I Love animals. They taste great.

I say no to drugs They just don't listen.

A friend in need Is a pest indeed.

Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

Work is fine if itdoesn't take too much of your time.

When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.
Born free taxed to death.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don'thave film.

Life is unsure, always eat your desert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground,you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

I love being a writer...what I can't stand is the paperwork.

A printer consists of 3main parts:the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking redlight.

The hardest part of skating is the ice.

My phone number is 17.We got one of the earlyones.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. Theguy who invented theother three,he was the genius.

The trouble with being punctualis that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech,why are there phonebills ?

If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he"ll believe you.But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.

I had a friend once.Then the rope broke and he got away.

If you cannot change your mind,are you sure you have one ?

Beat the 5 O'clock rush,leave work at noon !

If you can't convince them,confuse them.

It's not the fall that kills you.It's the sudden stop at the end.

I couldn't repair your brakes,so I made your horn louder.

Give a man a free hand,and he"ll run it all over you

Hot glass looks same as cold glass.- Cunino's Law of BurntFingers

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week


You have now been nominated for the award of "bravery in the face of boredom" for reading this until the end. May you still continue exploring where other mere mortals do not venture.