Qoutes from Calvin

CALVIN-

"I feel like 'Dr. Zhivago'."
"Readyyy...Aimmm...."
"If there's more to life than this, I don't know what it is."
"Hewwo! Is Hobbesie-Wobbsie sweepy? Ooh, he's just a big snoogie-woogie isn't he? Yes he IS! Hewwo snoogie-woogy!"......*a few panels later*......"I can see why little tabby cats are much more popular."
"Hey dad, can I take the gas can for the lawn mower out in the back yard?" Note: Need I say more?
"Centipedes have poisoned pinchers?"
"Like it's MY fault she hasn't gotten the chimney swept."
"Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know swear words."
"Mom, can we go out to the highway?"
"...either this is my lucky day, or I missed the end-of-recess bell again."
"Oh No! I'm in coodie central! I haven't even had my shots! Air Filter! Air Filter!"
"If a plane comes along now I'm dead."
"There's no head rest on this chair! I should sue for whiplash!"
"Why should I have to work for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!"
"I'm going to paste susie's pate with a slushball!
"It's psychosomatic. You need a labotomy! I'll get a saw."
"I'll get him for this if it takes my whole life."
"It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end."
"I try to make everyone's day a little more surreal."
"I don't need parents. All I need is a recording that says: 'Go play outside.'"
"Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess."
"You know how Einstein got bad grades as a kid? Well, mine are even worse!"
"A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do."
"I'M SIGNIFICANT!...screamed the dust speck."
"My brain always rejects attitude transplants."
"Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character."
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning."
"I hate it when I can't gird my loins with funny animals."
"I'm a simple man with complex tastes."
" A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day."
"The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!"
"Trusting parents can be hazardous to your health."
"It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw."
"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."
"Susie, if you want to see your doll again, leave $100 in this envelope by the tree out front. Do not call the police. You cannot trace us. You cannot find us.Sincerely, Calvin."
"This clean, wholesome television! Ughh, it makes me sick."
"I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction."
"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway."

HOBBES-
"I think this is my favorite time of year! The new snow muffles approaching foorsteps! Hoo Hoo!"
"Will I'll be! MY fuzzy mittens HAVE pads!"
"A Philistine on the sidewalk."
"I'm lean! I'm mean! Tell ehr chocolate pudding makes my coat lustrious."
"Z"
"Hoo Hoo! That was a good one! Look how far we landed!"
"Quick! To the Bat-Fax!"
"I suppose we could try being GOOD."
"Your nose is probably all clogged up now, huh?"
"If you snore, I'm tilting the bed so you roll out the window."
"Is Amazon Girl's super power the ability to squeeze that figure into that suit?"
"The turbo is pooped."
"The score is 'Q' to '12'!"
"You're lucky tigers are so smart."
"Live and don't learn, that's us."
"The best presents don't come in boxes."
" I'll draw some stars to show pain and human suffering."
"I don't know which is worse, ...that everyone has his price, or that the price is always so low."
"So the secret to good self-esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where they're already met?"
"Did you ask your Mom if you could jump off the roof?"
On the topic of falling in love: " First, your heart falls into your stomach and splashes your innards. All the moisture makes you sweat profusely. This condensation shorts the circuits to your brain, and you get all woozy. When your brain burns out altogether, your mouth disengages and you babble like a cretin until she leaves."
" Van Gogh would've sold more than one painting if he'd put tigers in them."
" If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some!"
"Most people don't sleep well next to a hungry tiger."
"No sport is less organized than Calvinball!"
"I think animals are alway so cute."
"There's more to this world than just people, you know."

SUSIE-
"He pounces on you?"
"I wish my parents would move. My diary is getting weirder every day."
"Forget it Calvin, I'm not playing with you anymore."
"Calvin, you are so weird I'm not even going to talk to you."
"I wish I lived someplace where I went to a normal bus stop."
"A PHOTO OF BINKY BETSY TIED TO A CHAIR!!"
"Uh oh, here come Calvin...the incurable weirdness poster child."
"What's the matter with YOU??"
"DROP DEAD, CALVIN."
"The thought of a jerk like you begging one of us for a date when you're 17."

MOE-
"Hey Calvin you're on my swing. Get lost."
"Next period you'll be so covered with mat burns you'll need skin grafs! Ha ha ha! See ya then, Twinky."
"Hey Calvin, it's gonna cost you 50 cents to be my friend today."
"Then the janitor scrapes you off the wall with a spatula."
"...uh..."
"What?"
"Hey, Twinky, want to see if there's an afterlife?"


SUMANTH-
"Hey you are a person with lots of time on your hand"